Recently, a woman whom I had known my entire life and who had been my best friend from the moment I met her, has passed away. This is something that I could never have prepared myself for, and it was a difficult time to go to the viewing and the funeral to say goodbye to someone who had meant so much to me and whom I will cherish for my entire life. I think she snuck her way into my dreams this past night/morning.
After the funeral, Toots' niece offered that if I would want anything or if there was something that held memories that I would like to have, to let her know. I knew right away what held a lot of memories for us: her (small) collection of porcelain dolls, which were kept in a china cabinet that I would look at every time I would visit. These were just...our thing. When I told my mother about these dolls, she kinda chuckled, because Toots had gotten me dolls that made a matching set to hers, and I did not know about these, because they were put away for safe keeping. Funny how things work out, right? Well, I didn't tell Toots' niece that I would like to have these yet.
I slept uneasily after the funeral, but I did dream. I dreamed that we were standing in her dining room together looking at the dolls. She was making a story about each one of them, and we named them together, something that we had truly done before, many, many, many times. I did not see Toots' face, only her feet. She was wearing turquoise colored slipper socks with white tread pads on them. I could hear her laughing. There's not a lot more that I can remember about this dream, but I wish I could. In my dream book that Josh and Ida got me, it lead me in some amazing directions. Turquoise means healing and spiritual. Socks mean warmth and comfort. Feet mean balancing or healing the body. Friend means a quality you see in a friend is a projected quality of your own self, one perhaps not easily recognized. I think that she was telling me that although I suffered a loss, I need to heal and move on for she is happy. I also think that it says that I strive to be like her, for she was truly an incredible person.
Another dream I had this night was I was at Ryan's house and getting ready to leave for work. I was to start work at 5pm. Looking at the clock on the stove, it was 4:28pm. My grandma walked in the back door and was standing at the washing machine, taking the laundry soap. She had on a blue coat, but I did not see her face, she kept her back to us. I don't remember leaving Ryan's house, but I somehow ended up at my house, waiting for my mom to take me to work. I was growing impatient, because I knew I was going to be late. Mom was standing at the sink in the kitchen, also with her back to me. I soon fell asleep on the couch, and woke up, looking at my phone and it was now 5:19pm. My phone then rang and it was my manager, calling to ask where I was. I told her that I was coming and she said that another staff was already there and again asked if I was coming. I told her yes and she said "well I was HOPING" and she hung up. I stormed into the kitchen and began yelling at my mom, who was wearing a yellow sweater. I screamed that it was all her fault. She began crying and went to the car. The next thing I knew, I was driving a burgundy colored vehicle, possibly the old red car we used to have. I passed an embankment and deja vu hit me, and I knew I saw something on that hillside before, so I looked again and saw a mostly black, but partially white large animal up on top. Directly below, in the very middle of the road were two or three very small bears that were killed by traffic. I remember that I was driving very fast, but I did not exactly recognize the area. I woke up shortly after. I have no ideas about this dream, so input would be appreciated!
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